The soon-to-be-married man also urged him to “act his age” in an outburst that has resulted in the best friend declining his invitation to the happy couple’s big day.

While it may be tradition for wedding guests to stick to a certain dress code, there is evidence that times are changing.

In a 2021 YouGovAmerica survey of just under 1,300 U.S. adults, 59 percent of respondents said they disapproved of the idea of the bride and groom asking guests to wear a particular color to their wedding.

Yet for some, like the bride and groom from the Reddit post shared under the handle NonLocalItyp, such traditions remain an important part of their nuptials.

According to the post, written by a Redditor claiming to be the groom, his bride-to-be Anne struggles with anxiety and ADHD and therefore wants “a very minimalist, quiet, calm, wedding.”

That doesn’t necessarily chime with the behavior of the groom’s best friend Taylor.

“Taylor is a 30-year-old punk. He wore a dress to our prom,” he said. “Taylor is dating a guy. Which is NOT the problem. But his partner is also very flamboyant.”

Though he describes Taylor as an “affectionate” and “thoughtful” friend who is loved by his parents, in the run up to the wedding Anne expressed “concerns” over inviting him amid fear over his choice of wedding attire.

As a result, the groom decided to speak to Taylor about it and asked him to “respect the dress code” and wear a black tuxedo. However, he admits he ended up being “harsher” than he had planned by telling Taylor to “man up” and “act his age.”

He said he even told him “people laugh about you, you want to be a joke?”

Although Taylor went along with it at the time he has since declined the online invitation to the wedding. While Taylor insists they remain on “good” terms, the groom said the situation has been “bothering” him ever since, which is why he had turned to social media for advice.

Rena Sweeney, the owner of Alchemy Events, a wedding and event planner based in New Orleans, told Newsweek that it is usually expected that guests stick to the dress code set out by the bride and groom.

“While society has often become more casual, wedding dress codes are still one area where guests typically adhere to the request of the couple,” she said.

“This is a way for the couple to indicate to the guests how formal or casual their event will be. Guests typically see this as a benefit so they know what is appropriate attire and also, of course, want to honor their friends and the feel they want for their wedding.”

But, in this specific incident, she felt the groom has “definitely overstepped” in how he dealt with the situation.

“He was rude, hurtful and owes his friend an apology,” Sweeney said. “Even if he apologizes I wouldn’t be shocked if the friend maintains his distance from now on as it is evident the bride and groom do not value and respect him the way a true friend should.”

The wedding planner was not alone in condemning the groom’s actions.

On Reddit, one user commented: “This could have been a really easy ‘hey, it’s important to my fiancée that everyone respects the dress code.‘Telling him to ‘man up’, ‘act his age’, ‘people laugh about you’ is beyond rude and mean. It’s cruel.”

A second said: “You should have stood up for your best friend, at the very least changed your delivery.”

Some sought to defend the groom’s actions, with one user noting: “the fiancée didn’t want him to not attend, just tone down the high energy, and respect the dress code. All she asked for was a calm wedding. As someone with anxiety, and possibly ADHD, I feel that is totally reasonable.”

Most remained critical of his handling of it though with one commenting: “I hope all their mutual friends show up in the loudest, most outlandish outfits they can manage.”

Newsweek has contacted NonLocalItyp but could not confirm the details of the case.